Badass Hijo De Puta
by CovenantGirlLoki
Summary: AKA the Five times Cougar scared Rogue and the one time Rogue was afraid for Cougar. Rating cause of naughty words
1. intro

Capt. William Roque was a scary guy. He was a cold blooded killer. There was nothing and no one that could scare him…but Carlos 'Cougar' Alvarez sure had his moments. Five moments especially came to mind.


	2. First

**I own nothing (shocker right?)**

The first time, like most times, was on a job. The job had of course gone to shit, as was the reoccurring theme whenever the Losers were involved.

Rogue had been captured and was now being interrogated by a large man with burly muscles and a head the size of a melon. Said melon head was currently an inch and a half from Roque's ear as the man snarled threats of what he would do if Roque didn't cooperate.

Roque turned his head slightly to respond when all of sudden the melon head simply wasn't there. It was however on the walls, on the table and on Roque himself. "What the fu-" Roque started.

"Clay's close." Said a Spanish voice over the coms.

Sure enough a few seconds later Clay burst through the door guns-a-blazing. Looking him dead in the eye Roque asked simply, "What? Who?"

"Cougar." Was Clay's simple reply.

**A/N: Hey guys and girls, hope you're liking it so far. I have the first three done...but any ideas would be very appreciated! not sure when the nxt chp will be up...soon I hope :)**


	3. two

The second time was during one of their rare down times between jobs. Pooch had headed back home to see Jolene, and Jensen had taken off to see his sister and niece. Clay, Roque and Cougar had stayed in a small apartment just off base that the three of them had been paying off slowly.

Clay and Roque had gone out drinking purely because their last mission had been a shitstorm and drowning their sorrows had seemed like the best idea at the time.

It was three in the morning by the time the pair had stumbled back to the apartment. Clay had opted to go straight to his bed but Roque had figure that he would watch some TV…as loud as it could be…that was his first mistake.

Five minutes later Cougar stumbled out of his room, clad in nothing but his pyjama pants and hat. Beneath his hat, his hair was mused by sleep. Cougar spotted Roque sitting on the coach and met his eyes. He didn't say anything. His death glare spoke the message clearly. Shut up and go to bed.

Even Jensen would obey that warning. But Roque, in all his drunken wisdom, decided to ignore him. Cougar turned and headed back to bed, muttering in Spanish and grabbing his Knight's Armament SR-25 as he went.

Ten minutes, and a ridiculously loud infomercial, later and Roque heard a low snarl. The TV was switched off before Roque could even turn around. "What the hell?" he muttered.

From directly behind him he heard the sound of a bullet being loaded into the barrel of a rifle. Standing and turning around slowly he came face to barrel with Cougar's gun. The owner of said gun glared at him before saying in a slow menacing voice, "Ir a la cama antes de que Te dispare." (Go to bed before I shoot you).

Seeing nothing but promise in the Spaniards dark eyes Roque swallowed nervously before walking to his room, Cougars gun trailing his path.


	4. three

**still don't own it**

The third situation had come about whilst on a mission in the jungles of Africa. It had been another long and tedious job and the whole team was exhausted. Yet somehow Jensen still had the energy to talk. Fucking energiser bunny he was!

Of course this was Jensen, so naturally he jumped from topic to topic too fast for his tired team mates to follow. The other guys were seriously losing their patients with the chatty tech head.

It was around three in the morning when Cougar snapped.

Getting up from his sleeping bag he walked up behind Jensen. "You sleep now." Was all he said as he squeezed a pressure point on the hacker neck.

Instantly the youngest of the team fell the the ground unconscious. Pooch's eyes widen. "Cougs…you know that some pressure points in the human body are deadly right?" he asked hesitantly.

The sniper considered his words. Taking a step closer to Jensen he lightly kicked his foot before shrugging. "Not lethal."

As he walked past Rogue Cougar added in a voice too quiet for the others to hear, "I think…"

**A/N ok so the details in this chapter may be a bit shady but honestly I did try to find out how many pressure points there is in the human body and I couldn't find a definite answer, I did however find a pressure point that relieves headaches :) so that was a bonus.**

**still need some more ideas for the next couple of chapters...**


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